Dear Miriam, 
When I see a person who is passionate about her life, who has found her “place” in life, the world seems quite unfair to me. How did she get so lucky? Why not me?
It seems to me I’ll do anything to have the life I love.
Truly yours,
Lana

Dear Lana,

You want a life you love. “To have the life you want, create the work you love.” “Follow your bliss.” “Do what you love, the money will follow,” pursue your heart’s desire – Joseph Cambell, Dr. Jarow, Marsha Sinefar, Dr. Hilda Lee Dale (and many others) seem to know what you should be doing: you should be doing what you love. And I mean LOVE, not just what you are skilled at.

I do not believe we live a life we love by doing what we “can” – we love it by doing what we want to do and love to do. What we love is what we are gifted at. People (who are no different than you and I!) who know what they want are ones who accomplish the great things in our world.

A study completed in the 80’s by Harvard psychologists showed that people who consider themselves “happy” have two things in common. What do you think it is? Money? Success? In fact, they knew what they wanted and they felt that they were doing something toward accomplishing it. That is what makes life worth living: when it has direction and meaning. But if you don’t know what you want… well, you are not alone. Almost 98 percent of Americans are “unhappy” with their jobs. And one of two main reasons that keep them stuck is: they don’t know what to do instead (of course, the second major reason is financial concerns).

Isn’t it interesting that what you have thought was your “personal problem” is so common? Let me share something with you. You know what you want. You feel that there is “your work” that you are meant to be doing. This is why you feel so unhappy when you can’t do it. There are two major reasons why many of us cannot formulate to ourselves what we want; the good one and the bad one.

The good one: We have so many options to choose from. It is a definite success of our culture that many of us have the freedom to look for our life’s work. This freedom is an incredible gift and an incredible responsibility. It compels us to expand our consciousness, to create our own goals, and in short, to own our lives.

The “bad” reason: The fact that we don’t know what we want is due to an inner conflict preventing us from being fully conscious about “our heart’s desires”. One of my major focuses in creative career counseling is to help expand my clients’ awareness, to bring into consciousness the nature of their internal conflicts, and then to help them get beyond it. When we see together the general meaning of the conflict, you’ll be helped to select the strategy of action that will bring you to resolve your particular kind of conflict. And then, you begin to discover your own path, your heart’s desire: the work of your life.

In the very near future, all of us – like it or not – are going to face a question: “What do I want to do?” All career development consultants are telling us that the direction of the future is clear – we are going to be a nation of experts, consultants, and entrepreneurs that work at home and are hired on a job-by-job basis according to our expertise. Those of us who are willing to develop what we love into the work of our life – and create a niche of excellence – will be at the forefront of this cultural change. Creating the work you love is a major challenge and a major commitment of your life journey.

Love,
Miriam