Dear Miriam, 
I wish I had more time:
I’d start my own business.
I’d take care of my health.
I’d change my life.
Love,
Hope

Dear Hope,

We are always right in our beliefs: Whatever you believe about time – that you are giving yourself time to do what you want to do, and therefore you are a success; or that time schedule pushes you through your daily life, and therefore you are a victim – you are right.

Let us ask ourselves a simple question: given a choice to do a difficult, but very desired work, or a simple, but not so desired one – what would we choose? The majority of us will choose the second option because it is easier. We will work on a more difficult task only if we are excited about it, and we will feel excitement about it only if it has meaning to us: if it leads to fulfillment of our desires. Put in simple words; we need to know what we want.

Time after time in my counseling office, I listen to my clients from all walks of life telling me, “I can do anything, if only… I could figure out what I want.”

Unless we have clearly defined ideas of what we want in life’s major areas,

personal life (spiritual, health, friends, hobbies, recreation);

career, education, income and finances;

love and family life;

home and community;

We do not feel in charge of our life and our time.

When we do not have our goals (priorities, desires) clarified, we give our time and energy to be used by those who do. Every one of us at some level knows what is important to us and what is our heart’s desire. It is just those dreams get forgotten, buried under problems and challenges of life. And we live knowing what we do not want. We live trying to avoid pain instead of pursuing joy and pleasure of meaningful life. It looks like we took a journey, but we forgot our destination.

Often, doubts and fears paralyze us because we are afraid the price will be too high; we will be alone out there. It is a belief that to attain our dreams we must give up something else (usually the love of significant people in our life). The very first fear we need to give up is that one. We need to understand deeply that it is essential to live our life meaningfully. Unfulfilled people sooner or later become resentful.

The toxicity of unlived life hardens our wrinkles, clogs our arteries, makes our significant others into intimate enemies, sooner or later. It is up to us to rediscover who we want to be, what we want to do, and what we deserve to have, and then we will be able to take charge with our life and our time.

To your dreams!
Love,
Miriam

Dear Miriam, 
I have an associate degree in business. I work in a small business company as a processing manager. My salary is my means of supporting myself. I take classes in business administration in the community college and learn new and sometimes exciting concepts relating to business. However, I feel increasingly unsatisfied and unfulfilled at my 9-to-5 job. I feel stuck, unable to make a decision:
Go back to school?
Change my job? Work for a bigger company?
Start my own “small business”?
Any suggestions?
Barbara Q.

Dear Barbara,

The simplest and most popular answer to your questions would be “Do what you love and love what you do,” and money will follow. This expression refers to one of the most important challenges of our lives – discovering and pursuing our true purpose. In other words, we need to answer to ourselves the most fundamental question: What are we here to do?

It is only through discovering and fulfilling our purpose in life, through finding our true vocation, that life becomes meaningful and exciting, uniquely fits us, and brings creativity and joy into our very existence. We feel happy, energized, creative, and absorbed in our daily activities; and then our work day is not a 9-to-5 routine, but an integral part of our lives – our true vocation.

This step-by-step client-centered counseling process guides you to finding a fulfillment at work, through enabling you to take charge of your life and come from power instead of reacting; and finally, leads you to form goals for creating the future according to your inner vision. Together, we:

Explore your present situation;

Discover your true life purpose;

Set and achieve your goals;

Find and implement your definition of success;

Define and overcome your blocks to success;

Define your “money problem,” and identify ways to love what you do and do what you love by serving people with love and integrity.

This process is designed for anyone who has to make important life decisions – whether one is choosing a field, changing careers, trying to get more satisfaction out of work, starting one’s own business, reentering the job market or planning a new occupation for retirement. I would like to remind all of us of the beautiful and courageous words of Joseph Campbell, who himself was a living embodiment of pursuing true life purpose:

“If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself in a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and the doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

Now, I hope you have some food for thought!

Miriam

P.S – After I finished this letter, these words came to mind. “There must be more to life than having everything.” – Maurice Sendak