Dear Miriam, 
I wish I had more time:
I’d start my own business.
I’d take care of my health.
I’d change my life.
Love,
Hope

Dear Hope,

We are always right in our beliefs: Whatever you believe about time – that you are giving yourself time to do what you want to do, and therefore you are a success; or that time schedule pushes you through your daily life, and therefore you are a victim – you are right.

Let us ask ourselves a simple question: given a choice to do a difficult, but very desired work, or a simple, but not so desired one – what would we choose? The majority of us will choose the second option because it is easier. We will work on a more difficult task only if we are excited about it, and we will feel excitement about it only if it has meaning to us: if it leads to fulfillment of our desires. Put in simple words; we need to know what we want.

Time after time in my counseling office, I listen to my clients from all walks of life telling me, “I can do anything, if only… I could figure out what I want.”

Unless we have clearly defined ideas of what we want in life’s major areas,

personal life (spiritual, health, friends, hobbies, recreation);

career, education, income and finances;

love and family life;

home and community;

We do not feel in charge of our life and our time.

When we do not have our goals (priorities, desires) clarified, we give our time and energy to be used by those who do. Every one of us at some level knows what is important to us and what is our heart’s desire. It is just those dreams get forgotten, buried under problems and challenges of life. And we live knowing what we do not want. We live trying to avoid pain instead of pursuing joy and pleasure of meaningful life. It looks like we took a journey, but we forgot our destination.

Often, doubts and fears paralyze us because we are afraid the price will be too high; we will be alone out there. It is a belief that to attain our dreams we must give up something else (usually the love of significant people in our life). The very first fear we need to give up is that one. We need to understand deeply that it is essential to live our life meaningfully. Unfulfilled people sooner or later become resentful.

The toxicity of unlived life hardens our wrinkles, clogs our arteries, makes our significant others into intimate enemies, sooner or later. It is up to us to rediscover who we want to be, what we want to do, and what we deserve to have, and then we will be able to take charge with our life and our time.

To your dreams!
Love,
Miriam