Dear Miriam, 
Why do some problems continue to reappear in my life and love relationships despite my best efforts to solve them?
Sincerely,
Hope

Dear Hope,

Have you ever heard the expression, “We get in life not what we want, but what we expect”? The difference being that our wants are conscious, while our expectations are not. Ken Keyes – an internationally known personal growth leader – said that problems lie in the lack of coordination between the conscious and the unconscious mind. To transform our lives, we need to synchronize conscious and unconscious; achieve the state of harmonious consciousness in which conscious and unconscious needs may and will coexist harmoniously. This will open up a possibility to conscious living, in a new sense of the word – where your conscious and unconscious can really communicate. Until we learn this skillful way to respond to life’s events, we’ll continue to ruin our lives, repeating the same destructive patterns again and again.

It is apparent that we must heal the childhood wounds. Nothing (including best intentions) works when we have deep childhood wounds that reside in the unconscious. Our rational mind has not the faintest idea about the existence of these traumas. Often, we even do not have any childhood memories, which usually means that we manage to repress quite a bit. These unconscious “hot buttons” constantly interfere with the intentions and effectiveness of our conscious, rational mind, destroy our intimate relationships and our self-esteem, and can sometimes lead to a depression.

In a nutshell, whatever we repress becomes a time bomb, ready for explosion whenever people in our current life “fit” the unconscious mind’s perception of those who wounded us originally.

I hope this sheds some light on your current problems.

Love,
Miriam